A Day at the Zoo

[[Lesse... I'm supposed to write a script for my Theatre Club [And its funny, because I'm a horrible actress]. Here it is. By the way, I'm Mello.]]

Characters: Placebo (Hezzuh) and Tsurai (Mello)
Setting: Tsurai and Placebo are sitting on a bus while on a “safari” at the zoo. Each has about two monsters in hand and Placebo is fidgeting excitedly. They both are ignoring the man over the loud speaker, but Placebo is bouncing up and down with hyperactivity.

[Placebo is looking around while pointing to random animals.]
Placebo: TSURAI LOOK AT THE ZEBRA
Tsurai: I see the zebra.
Placebo: LIONS AND TIGERS. ONLY IN KENYAAAAAAAAA
Tsurai: We aren’t in Kenya. We’re at the zoo.
Placebo: KENYAAAAAAAAA
Tsurai: You know Placebo; I really think you should lay off the monster…
[Tsurai tries to make Placebo sit still while he continues to bounce up and down in his
Seat.]
Placebo: B-b-but Tsuraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!!! [Placebo puts his arms around Tsurai and looked at him with a pout] I don’t waaaaaaant toooooooooo!!
[Tsurai gets an annoyed look on his face and tries to push Placebo off slightly, but he only clings tighter.]
Tsurai: Placebo, seriously, you need to ca-
[Tsurai is cut off as the bus hits a bump in the road.]
Placebo: HOLY SWEET JESUS MAKING PANCAKES ON A STICK. IT’S AN EARTHQUAKE!
[Placebo puts his hands over his head in an over-dramatic way as they continue to drive.]
Tsurai: Jesus Christ Placebo, it was just a bump in the road!
[Tsurai face/palms and give an annoyed sigh. Placebo looks at Tsurai with a confused look.]
Placebo: Really!? [Placebo says with an over exaggerated amount of shock.]
Tsurai: Really.
[Tsurai crosses his arms and turns the opposite way from Placebo. A few seconds of Silence pass by.]
Placebo: …
Tsurai: …
Placebo: …Tsurai.
[Tsurai glances at Placebo before answering.]
Tsurai: What Placebo?
Placebo: ….Guess what.
[Tsurai sighs.]
Tsurai: What?
Placebo: …Chicken butt.
Tsurai: …
Placebo: [Placebo giggles uncontrollably.]
Tsurai: That was pathetic.
Placebo: What was?
Tsurai: The “joke”.
Placebo: But it wasn’t a joke.
Tsurai: What are you talking about?
Placebo: We just passed chickens.
[Tsurai stares at Placebo for a second before directing his eyes away again.]
Placebo…
Tsurai: …
Placebo: TSURAI
[Tsurai flinches before turning around and looking at Placebo]
Tsurai: Wha--?
[Placebo interrupts him and puts his hand over Tsurai’s mouth]
Placebo: STOP BEING SO LOUD
[Tsurai’s voice is muffled, but should be able to be heard]
Tsurai: Placebo…
Placebo: TSURAI, NOW YOU’RE BEING TO QUIET!
[Placebo keeps his hand where they are, but after a second, Tsurai pushes them away.]
Tsurai: Placebo, knock it off. No more monster.
[Tsurai takes the monster can from Placebo’s hands.]
Placebo: HEY THAT WAS MINE
Tsurai: STOP BEING SO HYPER
Placebo: IF YOU DON’T GIVE IT BACK I’LL CRY
[Placebo lunges towards Tsurai trying to retrieve the can.]
Tsurai: NO
Placebo: WAAAAAAAAH
[Placebo dramatically begins to start crying.]
Tsurai: JESUS
[Tsurai gives Placebo the can back]
Placebo: Yay!
[Placebo smiles and drinks the rest of the monster while looking around. A lion slowly pops up from behind the two of them. Placebo looks terrified and puts a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t scream and upset Tsurai anymore. He grabs Tsurai’s shoulder. He removes his hands to talk.]
Placebo: Tsurai? [He covers his mouth again.]
Tsurai: What now? [Tsurai stares at Placebo.]
Placebo: [whispering] there’s a lion… Right there… [Placebo points to the lion.]
Tsurai: [Tsurai has a confused look on his face.] …What?!
Placebo: [points to the lion.] There’s a lion… RIGHT THERE. [Placebo hides in Tsurai’s shoulder.
Tsurai: What are you TALKING about!? [Tsurai raises his voice slightly.]
Placebo: THERE’S A LION BEHIND US! [Placebo shouts into Tsurai’s shoulder]
Tsurai: [Tsurai looks from Placebo to the place he was pointing and back at Tsurai.] Placebo…
Placebo: Tsurai shut up or the lion’s gunna getcha.
Tsurai: [stares at Placebo] There’s nothing there…
Placebo: Yes there is!
Tsurai: There is no lion.
Placebo: THERE’S A LION THERE, GET IN THE CAR!!!! [Placebo grabs Tsurai and tries to drag him away from his seat.]
Tsurai: PLACEBO THERE’S NO LION
Placebo: YES THERE IS [Placebo’s tugging becomes more violent as he continues to try and pull him away.] GET IN THE CAR GET IN THE CAR GET IN THE CAR!!!
Tsurai: PLACEBO, WE’RE IN THE CAR!
Placebo: [He stops for a second to look at his surroundings] Oh my god, Tsurai…
Tsurai: What… now…?
Placebo: THE LION IS THE CAR. THE LION. IS. IN. THE. CAR. [Placebo starts to tug again.]
Tsurai: PLACEBO KNOCK IT OFF
Placebo: BUT WE HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM THE LION.
Tsurai: STOP IT WE’RE GOING TO—AH
Placebo: AAAH!
[Tsurai and Placebo fall out of the car.]
Tsurai: Placebo…. [Tsurai face/palms]
Placebo: [looks around] At least the lions gone…!
Tsurai: [stares at Tsurai]

End scene.