It was a great concert, and I couldn't thank him enough for coming back to the states.
I don't really have much to say about it, other than I am convinced he is the sweetest person alive. ;A;
I felt terrible for the majority of it, but thats because my asthma decided to set my lungs on fire and I believe I am now getting sick.
I also blew 125 dollars on merch, and I hardly have anything to show for it.
Nevermind.
Idc what anyone says.
This sweater was worth every penny.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Surreal.
I had this really surreal dream last night, and I want to write it down before I forget it.
At first I was sitting on the shore of a lake. It was night, and my friend and I were sitting next to each other and talking about our past lives. It was supposedly our first time meeting, so we had a lot to talk about. We were both dressed in white, and behind us was a large lake house with black trim and shutters.
After a while, I closed my eyes and I found myself in a house. It wasn't the same as the one behind me. All the doors were different colors and there was a flight of stairs at the end of the hallway. I started going into each of the different colored rooms, and each one had a different "original character" I have created inside.
The first room belonged to a pair of people I created, both of which were artificial. One is named Ezekiel. He's a cyborg character I created, and the other is also named Ezekiel. He was a biological experiment that was created to mimic the appearance of an angel. They had their wrists slit, but no blood was coming out. The door and the entire room was painted white and the two characters were laying in a pair of matching, white silk hammocks that were hanging from one side of the room to the other. It was just big enough for them to lay comfortably. There was a large floor to ceiling window on the opposite wall from the door and all that was showing in was extremely bright, white light. In the walls, the two have their names etched and stitched back up. I closed the door and locked it from the outside.
I then moved onto the second room, where another one of my characters was. The door is black but the entirety of the room on the inside is pink. His name is Kenjin, and he was one of the first characters I ever created. Instead of the room being a bedroom, he's looking into a mirror hanging against the wall in a bathroom-like room. Its extremely small. If he immediately stepped back from the vanity, he would collide with the toilet and the wall opposite from me is basically the shower/bathtub. He's commenting about how ugly he is and how no one will ever love him. He gets angry and breaks the mirror, and I, once again, close the door and lock it from the outside.
The third room I enter is completely red, just like the door it corresponds to. Inside is a large bed, and my character named Sasha. He's dressed in a red dress that is unnaturally short from the lolita-esque ones I make him wear. He's laying on the bed, hugging a pillow and staring at the wall rather empti-ly. I leave him in peace and lock the door from the outside.
The fourth room I enter is baby blue. There is a computer desk, a bed, and a play pen that you put babies in. My very first character is sitting in it. His name is (once again) Ezekiel. I've always called him Zeke, though. For the first time I entered the house, I spoke. I said "Good boy," and patted him on the head. He looked up at me and smiled, so I left, but I didn't lock the door, nor close it.
The very last room I enter has an archway entering and leaving into a brown-colored living room. There is no one inside, and its decorated with posters of Malice Mizer, Moi Dix Mois, and the like. It actually looks a lot like my friend's (in real life) room. The only difference is the way the walls are painted. They're just plain navy blue. There's a bed next to the door and on the opposite wall there's a light. Other than the posters, there's various painted ones. I look at one in particular that was titled "Mommy's nightmares". All the pictures painted onto it are nightmares I remember quite clearly. The one I most recognize is one I had about two years ago, in which someone killed everyone I knew with a chainsaw then killed themselves in my room only for me to find them just before I woke up. The person actually looked like someone I met about a month later.
I noted how creepy it was before walking into the living room where my entire family was. None of us said anything. My dog was sleeping on the floor, my dad was in a recliner, and my sisters and mom were lined up in the couch. They were all watching TV and the walls had windows going all the way around. I went back through the rooms to the hallway before waking up.
At first I was sitting on the shore of a lake. It was night, and my friend and I were sitting next to each other and talking about our past lives. It was supposedly our first time meeting, so we had a lot to talk about. We were both dressed in white, and behind us was a large lake house with black trim and shutters.
After a while, I closed my eyes and I found myself in a house. It wasn't the same as the one behind me. All the doors were different colors and there was a flight of stairs at the end of the hallway. I started going into each of the different colored rooms, and each one had a different "original character" I have created inside.
The first room belonged to a pair of people I created, both of which were artificial. One is named Ezekiel. He's a cyborg character I created, and the other is also named Ezekiel. He was a biological experiment that was created to mimic the appearance of an angel. They had their wrists slit, but no blood was coming out. The door and the entire room was painted white and the two characters were laying in a pair of matching, white silk hammocks that were hanging from one side of the room to the other. It was just big enough for them to lay comfortably. There was a large floor to ceiling window on the opposite wall from the door and all that was showing in was extremely bright, white light. In the walls, the two have their names etched and stitched back up. I closed the door and locked it from the outside.
I then moved onto the second room, where another one of my characters was. The door is black but the entirety of the room on the inside is pink. His name is Kenjin, and he was one of the first characters I ever created. Instead of the room being a bedroom, he's looking into a mirror hanging against the wall in a bathroom-like room. Its extremely small. If he immediately stepped back from the vanity, he would collide with the toilet and the wall opposite from me is basically the shower/bathtub. He's commenting about how ugly he is and how no one will ever love him. He gets angry and breaks the mirror, and I, once again, close the door and lock it from the outside.
The third room I enter is completely red, just like the door it corresponds to. Inside is a large bed, and my character named Sasha. He's dressed in a red dress that is unnaturally short from the lolita-esque ones I make him wear. He's laying on the bed, hugging a pillow and staring at the wall rather empti-ly. I leave him in peace and lock the door from the outside.
The fourth room I enter is baby blue. There is a computer desk, a bed, and a play pen that you put babies in. My very first character is sitting in it. His name is (once again) Ezekiel. I've always called him Zeke, though. For the first time I entered the house, I spoke. I said "Good boy," and patted him on the head. He looked up at me and smiled, so I left, but I didn't lock the door, nor close it.
The very last room I enter has an archway entering and leaving into a brown-colored living room. There is no one inside, and its decorated with posters of Malice Mizer, Moi Dix Mois, and the like. It actually looks a lot like my friend's (in real life) room. The only difference is the way the walls are painted. They're just plain navy blue. There's a bed next to the door and on the opposite wall there's a light. Other than the posters, there's various painted ones. I look at one in particular that was titled "Mommy's nightmares". All the pictures painted onto it are nightmares I remember quite clearly. The one I most recognize is one I had about two years ago, in which someone killed everyone I knew with a chainsaw then killed themselves in my room only for me to find them just before I woke up. The person actually looked like someone I met about a month later.
I noted how creepy it was before walking into the living room where my entire family was. None of us said anything. My dog was sleeping on the floor, my dad was in a recliner, and my sisters and mom were lined up in the couch. They were all watching TV and the walls had windows going all the way around. I went back through the rooms to the hallway before waking up.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Sooooo I miss you.
Like... a lot. It kind of sucks.
A lot.
I feel like you haven't texted me in eternity, and I'm afraid to text you more than once because I feel that I am annoying you. In fact, I kinda feel like that all the time. I don't want this friend ship to end like the rest of the ones I've had online. They get a job, and a girlfriend/boyfriend, and a license, and they realize our friendship wasn't really anything.
I know you won't do that but I feel like its going to happen anyway.
A lot.
I feel like you haven't texted me in eternity, and I'm afraid to text you more than once because I feel that I am annoying you. In fact, I kinda feel like that all the time. I don't want this friend ship to end like the rest of the ones I've had online. They get a job, and a girlfriend/boyfriend, and a license, and they realize our friendship wasn't really anything.
I know you won't do that but I feel like its going to happen anyway.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
...-_-
Thats about how I feel right now.
Just... -_-
I'm not really sure either. For the past few days I just don't feel like existing. Maybe I'm just kind of at my limit with everything... especially school.
I. Am so sick. Of school.
I have this terrible terrible case of... idfk what they call it... Senioritis?
I just do not give a single flying fuck about anything.
All I want to do is sleep, and all I can think about it how many other things I could be doing.
I feel really bad because all of my teachers have been super patient with me, especially my sales one.
He's a nice guy and all but for SOME REASON he pisses me off the most, and like I said. I feel really bad.
He's always given me chances to turn my work in, and when I do get around to it I do turn it in and I usually get a good grade on it. I just don't really pay any attention because for the most part, I know it all already.
My English teacher has been trying to be as helpful as possible, but just some stuff in that class doesn't make sense.
They say they test us on a college level now.
Explain to me why I aced the quiz that I guessed all the questions for... and when I mean ace, I mean, I got like, a 97 percent...
And I got a 43 on the test?
And why is it that every single class average for that test is under 65 percent?
Don't tell me its not because we didn't study, because I don't remember seeing a single question on that test REALLY pertaining to what we learned...
The other two classes, Graphics 2 and Walking, are basically self teaching classes so it doesn't even matter. I do what I can and they're just happy with what I dish out at them.
Anyway...
On another note...
I don't know what it is, but lately I have just felt completely down.
I'm tired, I don't care, etc.
I already said this so I'm not going to repeat myself again...
But school hasn't really been my only problem.
Sure, I have a job but I just like... I'm kind of past the "I DON'T WANT TO WORK EVER" phase and have moved onto "I'm going to complain about it but I really don't give a fuck" phase.
So thats not so bad.
In fact, I worked a 31 hour week last week and only made about 50 dollars in tips.
And it doesn't seem terrible but lets put these things into perspective.
When I single bus, meaning I bus alone, I make about 40 dollars on a normal night.
When we get about 200 people, I can make a little closer to fifty.
When we have 100 maybe then its like... 25 or 30.
I can deal with that.
HOW EVER.
Last thursday I actually excused myself to work.
I woke up at 7am, got to work at 9, and then proceeded to work my fucking ass off until 5 pm.
FIVE. PM.
Thats EIGHT HOURS.
SERVING.
FOUR HUNDRED.
MIDDLE AGED
AND OLD
WOMEN.
Because there was a craft show across the street.
How much did I make in tips.
twenty dollars.
....
GRANTED.
I did work with someone else.
But the following Friday.
We only have about 200 people.
I made 22.
Screw this place, I mean seriously.
Either those people hardly tipped at all, and even if they did I would have heard about it cause all the servers do is bitch about how little money they make, or someone is ripping us off.
/sigh
Okay, I believe I am done.
Well, I'm not. Theres some other things I need to get off my chest but I'll just write them down in a word document. I just... I don't want to talk about them here. Not that it really matters.
Oh, and I'm changing this blog title soon and making a new one. Basically because I'm only going to use this blog for venting and what not. Sometimes, I just need it. And my developing carpal tunnel doesn't appreciate me writing for several hours.
Just... -_-
I'm not really sure either. For the past few days I just don't feel like existing. Maybe I'm just kind of at my limit with everything... especially school.
I. Am so sick. Of school.
I have this terrible terrible case of... idfk what they call it... Senioritis?
I just do not give a single flying fuck about anything.
All I want to do is sleep, and all I can think about it how many other things I could be doing.
I feel really bad because all of my teachers have been super patient with me, especially my sales one.
He's a nice guy and all but for SOME REASON he pisses me off the most, and like I said. I feel really bad.
He's always given me chances to turn my work in, and when I do get around to it I do turn it in and I usually get a good grade on it. I just don't really pay any attention because for the most part, I know it all already.
My English teacher has been trying to be as helpful as possible, but just some stuff in that class doesn't make sense.
They say they test us on a college level now.
Explain to me why I aced the quiz that I guessed all the questions for... and when I mean ace, I mean, I got like, a 97 percent...
And I got a 43 on the test?
And why is it that every single class average for that test is under 65 percent?
Don't tell me its not because we didn't study, because I don't remember seeing a single question on that test REALLY pertaining to what we learned...
The other two classes, Graphics 2 and Walking, are basically self teaching classes so it doesn't even matter. I do what I can and they're just happy with what I dish out at them.
Anyway...
On another note...
I don't know what it is, but lately I have just felt completely down.
I'm tired, I don't care, etc.
I already said this so I'm not going to repeat myself again...
But school hasn't really been my only problem.
Sure, I have a job but I just like... I'm kind of past the "I DON'T WANT TO WORK EVER" phase and have moved onto "I'm going to complain about it but I really don't give a fuck" phase.
So thats not so bad.
In fact, I worked a 31 hour week last week and only made about 50 dollars in tips.
And it doesn't seem terrible but lets put these things into perspective.
When I single bus, meaning I bus alone, I make about 40 dollars on a normal night.
When we get about 200 people, I can make a little closer to fifty.
When we have 100 maybe then its like... 25 or 30.
I can deal with that.
HOW EVER.
Last thursday I actually excused myself to work.
I woke up at 7am, got to work at 9, and then proceeded to work my fucking ass off until 5 pm.
FIVE. PM.
Thats EIGHT HOURS.
SERVING.
FOUR HUNDRED.
MIDDLE AGED
AND OLD
WOMEN.
Because there was a craft show across the street.
How much did I make in tips.
twenty dollars.
....
GRANTED.
I did work with someone else.
But the following Friday.
We only have about 200 people.
I made 22.
Screw this place, I mean seriously.
Either those people hardly tipped at all, and even if they did I would have heard about it cause all the servers do is bitch about how little money they make, or someone is ripping us off.
/sigh
Okay, I believe I am done.
Well, I'm not. Theres some other things I need to get off my chest but I'll just write them down in a word document. I just... I don't want to talk about them here. Not that it really matters.
Oh, and I'm changing this blog title soon and making a new one. Basically because I'm only going to use this blog for venting and what not. Sometimes, I just need it. And my developing carpal tunnel doesn't appreciate me writing for several hours.
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